New York City is full of hattists

Hats: for thousands of years, they have been a classy and delightful way to put something on your head. What else can you say that about? Nothing. Probably because any time something goes on your head, it becomes, by default, a hat. But that's part of the magic!

Why, then, is New York so anti-hat? Look around you next time you're on the subway - I can almost guarantee you won't see more than two behatted people in a crowded car. Hat discrimination exists in no other American city I know of, and, indeed, in no other time in New York history. For decades, fedoras and bowlers were worn by gentlemen of taste and distinction before hipsters ruined them. For decades, baseball caps were worn by a rainbow of hardworking and decent American New Yorkers, and then suddenly it's like being a wife-beating, blue-collar drunk is a bad thing. For decades, visors were never really that popular, but you know, maybe they should be.

All this is to say that I was sporting my hat in lieu of my receding hairline last night at a bar called "123 Burger Shot Beer," the premise behind which is that you can buy burgers for $1, shots for $2, and beers for $3. And the bartender says, "Please take your hat off." Later, I saw a sign admonishing, "No Hats! Proper attire required." Required for what, drinking your $3 Coors Light?